At some point in life, we want to feel the feeling of belongingness. Even if it is an orphan, he/she too wants to feel this feeling. The different stages of our growth, i.e., right from the time we are born, we want to think that we belong to our parents, our caretakers. Then, as we grow up, our social circle grows too. And now we want to feel this feeling from society, from the people around us, from our extended family members. This is when we understand and assume that the sense of belongingness is of great importance.
It is one of the Natural Laws of the Family System that each one of us belongs to our system. No matter, what we have done, we still belong to our system. Today, I am talking about belongingness from the perspective of spiritual laws. When a child is born, he automatically belongs to the system whether the biological parents are giving up this baby for adoption. Belongingness to the system is something automatic and not dependent on the living members of the system. It is this belongingness to the system that provides support to the descendants. When the children born in the system are not acknowledged and accepted, it does bring about an interruption in the flow of love within the system.
When there is a feeling of belongingness healthily, then things flow fine in our lives. But when this belongingness is flowing in an unhealthy way, for example, if the child feels that to belong to the system, he needs to sacrifice his happiness or his free will to create new experiences in life; then this belongingness turns into chains of bondage. True belongingness is a freedom one experiences at all levels. Being within the system, feeling that you are a part of the system; but at the same time, you’re blessed with the freedom to make your own choices. There is guilt when you create new experiences for yourself.
Today, to be a part of the society, to feel that belongingness to our families, we often make choices out of force and not out of the heart. For example, in some families, the parents and other members ask too many questions about your emotions, or there is not enough mental space given to think out of the box. Another example can be the unsaid expectation of carrying on the same family business as the ascendants. Even though in this case may be the new generation wants to try their hands on something new, some inner calling they would like to pursue. But they cannot express it as the family tradition disbars you from feeling any of it.
In terms of spiritual belongingness, we give each other a safe place to heal their emotions at their own pace. If there is something out of alignment, there are no judgments; instead, there is more oneness and encouragement to bring in that alignment. True Belongingness is freedom from any expectations said or unsaid; instead there is a sense of responsibility towards each other’s growth in all the facets of life. My urge to people reading this article is to see the bigger picture of belongingness. It is time to let go off that conscience created out fear and the need that if certain things aren’t followed, then the sense of belongingness is dismissed. Let the sun of freedom rise along with the moon of responsibility. We need to become empowered enough to understand the true essence of freedom and responsibility, as to how they walk hand in hand.